In a world where social media often serves as a platform for sharing life’s most intimate moments, it’s no surprise that some posts spark widespread discussion. Recently, a father named Patrick, a Christian content creator on TikTok, found himself at the center of a storm of controversy after sharing a video of him “proposing” to his 20-year-old daughter, Sarah, with a purity ring.
In the video, Patrick, visibly emotional, praises his daughter for maintaining her purity at 20 years old, something he believes is rare for “kids her age.” He then gets down on one knee, much like a traditional marriage proposal, and presents Sarah with a purity ring. The ring symbolizes her commitment to remain abstinent until marriage, a pledge she makes not just to her father but also to God.
Patrick’s message was clear: he was proud of Sarah’s choices and wanted to honor her commitment to purity. However, the manner in which he did so—through a ring often associated with engagement—coupled with the public nature of the gesture, led to mixed reactions.
The TikTok video quickly went viral, amassing thousands of views and comments. Many viewers found the gesture uncomfortable and problematic. One user commented, “20?!?!?! Purity ring?!?!?! Dad?!?!?!” encapsulating the shock and disbelief felt by many. Others echoed these sentiments, questioning the appropriateness of such a public and paternalistic display.
For many, the idea of a father “proposing” a purity ring to his daughter felt like a step back into a more patriarchal time, where a woman’s value was often tied to her chastity and her father’s approval. The association of purity with a woman’s worth has long been criticized for perpetuating harmful stereotypes and fostering unhealthy views about sexuality.
@emstayninety #greenscreenvideo #purityring ♬ original sound – meg
Despite the criticism, not everyone viewed Patrick’s actions negatively. Some people defended the gesture, seeing it as a sincere and loving act by a father who wants the best for his daughter. One supporter commented, “This broken generation will not understand the purpose of this … comments did not pass the vibe check. Guarding her heart is important.”
For these supporters, the purity ring is seen as a symbol of a personal and spiritual commitment, rather than a controlling or oppressive act. They argue that in a world where young people are increasingly exposed to sexual content and pressure, a purity ring can serve as a reminder of values that they believe are worth upholding.
The debate surrounding purity rings is not new. For years, these rings have been a part of purity culture, particularly within certain religious communities. They are often given to young girls as a symbol of their vow to remain abstinent until marriage. However, this practice has been criticized for promoting a one-dimensional view of female sexuality and placing undue pressure on young women.
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A 2017 review published in the Journal of Adolescent Health highlighted some of the potential negative outcomes of purity pledges. The study found that girls who pledged to abstain from sex were actually more likely to experience sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancies, and harmful perceptions of their bodies compared to those who did not make such pledges.
Hannah Mayderry, a licensed mental health counselor who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family, spoke about the broader implications of purity culture in an interview with Verywell Mind. She explained that those who are immersed in purity culture are impacted in nearly every aspect of their lives. “Women are often taught their sexuality is something that should be bottled up and suppressed,” she said. This mindset can affect how women dress, interact with men, and view their own bodies and desires.
The controversy surrounding Patrick’s purity ring proposal to his daughter highlights the changing attitudes towards purity culture. In the past, purity rings were more commonly accepted and even celebrated within certain communities. However, as society becomes more open about discussing sexuality and the importance of sexual health, the concept of purity as tied to a woman’s worth is increasingly being questioned.
For those who still believe in the effectiveness of purity rings, it’s worth noting that many public figures who once wore them, like the Jonas Brothers, did not maintain their vows. This has led some to question whether such pledges are truly effective or whether they simply place unnecessary pressure on young people.
Patrick’s purity ring proposal to his daughter Sarah was undoubtedly well-intentioned, but it also opened up a broader conversation about the implications of purity culture. While some view the gesture as a positive affirmation of values, others see it as a troubling reminder of a culture that often places too much emphasis on a woman’s sexual purity.
As society continues to evolve, it’s clear that the conversation about how we talk to young people about sex, relationships, and personal values will continue to be a complex and nuanced one. What’s certain is that the debate sparked by this TikTok video is far from over.
