Romy, a 22-year-old from the Netherlands, made headlines with her emotional story of campaigning for euthanasia due to years of battling depression, eating disorders, and the lingering effects of childhood abuse. Her journey toward seeking the legal right to die—and her life-altering decision to live—offers a powerful message of resilience, hope, and the profound impact of human connection.
Romy planned to end her life. Credit: Yoss Sabalet / Getty
A Life Marred by Painful Struggles
Romy’s life has been anything but easy. Growing up, she endured traumatic experiences that left her scarred, both emotionally and physically. Her teenage years were marked by clinical depression and anorexia, compounded by her struggle with severe eating disorders. These battles felt insurmountable, pushing her to consider euthanasia—a legal option in the Netherlands under specific circumstances.
At just 18, Romy began advocating for her right to die, a journey that required not only navigating her pain but also the bureaucratic process of obtaining legal approval. The Dutch law on euthanasia demands strict adherence to guidelines, ensuring that the patient’s request is well-considered and enduring, and that all other treatment options have been explored.
For four years, Romy pleaded her case to doctors, government officials, and even her family, convincing them of her unwavering desire to end her suffering. By June 2023, she had achieved her goal and was prepared to embrace her final moments.
Seconds Before Death: A Life-Changing Question
As Romy lay in a hospital bed in Leiden, the weight of her decision was palpable. She had prepared for this day meticulously, even handing out T-shirts emblazoned with the words “life sucks” to mark the occasion. The black hearse and coffin that awaited her outside served as grim reminders of her imminent fate.
The doctor tasked with carrying out the procedure explained the process one last time. “The first injection numbs your vein,” they said. “The second injection stops your breathing. After that, you will die quickly.” Despite her calm demeanor, Romy’s heart raced as she contemplated the finality of what was about to happen.
In accordance with Dutch law, the doctor asked one last question before administering the lethal injection: “Are you sure?”
Those three words unraveled everything Romy had worked toward. The weight of the question struck her like a bolt of lightning, triggering an emotional response she hadn’t anticipated. Tears streamed down her face as she realized she wasn’t ready to let go. In that moment, Romy made the courageous decision to call off her death and give life another chance.
The Role of Support and Therapy in Choosing Life
Initially, Romy requested euthanasia again after backing out at the last moment. The pain she carried was still overwhelming, and she doubted her ability to move forward. However, the immense outpouring of support from her family, friends, and mental health professionals helped her see a glimmer of hope.
With the encouragement of her psychiatrist, Romy committed to trauma therapy—a decision that would ultimately transform her perspective on life. The road to recovery wasn’t easy, but for the first time in years, she began to feel a sense of possibility.
Romy reflected on her journey with Dutch outlet NRC, saying, “I don’t regret the journey. Because I’ve been so close to death, I see life as something valuable. It won’t always go well, but I now know there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
Finding Meaning in Everyday Life
Today, Romy’s life looks very different. She lives in communal assisted housing and is pursuing a diploma in adult education—a stark contrast to the darkness she once faced. Her days are filled with small but significant victories, from attending classes to fostering new friendships.
When asked what brings her joy, Romy offered an unexpected answer: “This is going to sound crazy: I genuinely enjoyed paying rent. It gives my life meaning.” Her words reflect a profound shift in her mindset, where even mundane activities symbolize stability and purpose.
The Importance of Asking the Right Questions
Romy’s story underscores the profound impact that one question can have. The doctor’s simple yet powerful inquiry, “Are you sure?” forced her to confront her deepest fears and emotions in a way that no therapy or treatment had done before. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most transformative moments in life come from the simplest of actions.
The young woman now lives in communal assisted living. Credit: Marco VDM / Getty
Her decision to live also highlights the critical role of compassion and support in helping individuals overcome their struggles. Without the encouragement of her loved ones and the expertise of her psychiatrist, Romy might not have found the strength to continue.
A Message of Hope for Others
Romy’s journey from despair to hope is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. While her battles with depression and trauma are far from over, she has chosen to face them head-on with courage and determination. Her story serves as a beacon of hope for anyone grappling with their own pain, proving that even in the darkest moments, it’s possible to find light.
Conclusion
Romy’s experience offers a powerful lesson about the value of life and the importance of support during life’s most challenging times. Her story reminds us that healing is a journey, not a destination, and that even the smallest glimmers of hope can lead to profound change. By choosing to live, Romy has become an inspiration for countless others, showing that no matter how deep the pain, there’s always a chance to rewrite your story.
